The mistakes that i've made
by Shaneaholic
Summary: Set after Shane and Molly break-up. Shane tries to make right what shes done wrong. New unknown characters and some old favs.
1. Chapter 1

Shane sat alone and cried. As her body convulsed with each sob her pain and regret flowed with the tempo of the song. "Both sides now" by Joni Mitchell played on in the background and Alice sat in silence beside her friend, her hand resting on her back.

"I just thought I just hoped it would be different" sobbed Shane into her arms.

"I know honey,"

"I loved her so much! I thought it would be different. And somehow I still managed to fuck it all up! Why can't I get it right? Why can't I be happy Al?"

Alice couldn't mistake the touch of hopelessness in Shane's voice and hear heart ached for the women's pain.

Shane suddenly looked up into Alice's eyes and whispered her eyes red and bloodshot "What do I do now? What the FUCK AM I S'POSE TO DO NOW?"

She shouted the last line and got up, wringing her hands in frustration.

"I've got to see her" and she strode to the door, Alice quickly stood up and blocked the doorway. "NO! Shane, no." she said it quietly. "I don't really think that's a good idea. Do you?"

Shane looked at her for a moment before murmuring under her breath "not a good idea"

She shook her head and sat down murmuring repetitively "not a good idea" to herself.

She's finally lost it thought Alice to herself.

The song finished and Shane closed her eyes.

"Shane? Shane?" But Shane was gone and Alice smiled to herself. She covered Shane with a blanket, turned off the lights and closed the door as she left the room.

And in the dark, Shane once more began to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

4 months later…..

Shane watched as the girl slept beside her, the rise and fall of her body so slight and subtle that she had to remind herself she was alive.

Sherrie? No, it was something more low key. Janet? Oh fuck it! I'll just wing it.

The girl stirred and Shane glanced down at her. The girl looked up at her drowsily and spoke her words slow "You don't remember my name do you?"

"Straight to the point aren't you?"

"Just answer the question."

"No."

"Hmmph." She looked at Shane and Shane prepared herself for an angry outburst of some sort but it never came.

"Pity. 'Cause I don't."

"What the fuck?" she drawled, "who doesn't remember their own name?"

"Me." The girl replied with a shrug of her shoulders. She sat up and got out of the bed

smirking as she noticed the hungry look that Shane gave her naked form.

"Like what you see?"

Shane looked at her surprised, "I don't even remember your name and you still flirt with me?"

"Well yeah. I can't do it on my own now can I? Besides what does it matter to you anyway? I'm just your thing to play with for the night."

She cocked her head and smiled at Shane.

"What?"

The girl laughed a deep strong laugh that came from deep within.

"Come on! I know your game. You mess around with a random chick every night while your girl is away and then when she comes back you're the perfect girlfriend"

"What makes you think I have a girl?"

"Well you sure acted like you were taken. Looking around nervously in the club when we were chatting, the photo of that girl on your drawer and the name that you mentioned a couple of times in your sleep."

"Oh."

"Who is Molly anyway?"

Shane looked away, her interest in the conversation suddenly lost.

"That bad, huh?"

Shane was silent.

"Was she a mega bitch? Did she leave you for someone else? Or did she die?"

By now Shane had grown tired of her guest. "Just drop it will you!" she said sharply.

"Whoa. That is some fucked up shit."

"What the fuck?" said Shane "this is coming from the girl who doesn't even remember her own name! Who the fuck are you to come and tell me what's fucked up 'round here?"

"Okay…. So I guess I touched a nerve there."

Shane suddenly felt embarrassed and looked away yet again.

"Sorry." She mumbled

"It's all cool." Said the girl

"I'll just grab my stuff and go."

"No." Shane protested "I'll make us something to eat. It's the least I can do after I..."

"Jumped down my throat?"

"Yeah"

"Well don't bother. I've got things to do so I'll see you around, kay"

"But…"

The girl turned at the door and smiled. "Sarah."

"What?" said Shane

"My names Sarah."


	3. Chapter 3

Later that afternoon…………

Later that afternoon…………

Shane sat on the edge of the bed, the framed photo of Molly from her bedside cabinet between her hands. She smiled as she remembered that morning. She had woken early to take some photos of Molly only to find that Molly had beaten her to it.

All though the photos weren't masterpieces they were perfect and to Shane, breathtaking.

Molly had taken photos of herself by simply lifting the camera above her head. Shane smiled as

she heard Molly's words replaying in her mind "I wanted to get my good side."

Shane looked around the simple apartment, everywhere there seemed to be a photograph of Molly.

Why are you punishing yourself? Asked a voice in her head you've got all these photographs

in here for what reason? Forget about her. She's not your problem anymore, you never needed her anyway.

Yet at the same time another voice spoke up as well. Forget about her? That girl was the best thing that ever happened to you and you want to forget about her? You deserve to be tormented, after you selfishly broke that poor girls heart.

She gave up everything for you and you repay her by fucking Jenny's girlfriend. And what about Jenny? Hadn't she suffered enough?

Shane put down the photo and lay her head in her hands. These voices were driving her crazy. In fact she took them as a sign that she had finally lost it.

There was a knock on the apartment door and a voice called softly "Shane?"

Shane got up and swiftly moved to the door, hope building with every step. She opened the door and

there stood.

"Alice?"

"Surprise! Happy to see me?"

"Of course, I just… what brings you 'round here?"

"We came to see you, is that a problem?"

"We?"

"Tasha is just coming along behind. Why? Is something going on? Did you think I was Molly?"

"No, of course not. Come in"

Tasha appeared from the top of the steps and followed Alice in.

"Well" said Shane "It's not much, bit untidy but it's the best I could get on such short notice. It's not too bad. What do you think? Al?"

But Alice wasn't listening. Instead she was staring at the numerous photos of Molly around the apartment.

Shane followed her gaze and couldn't miss the sigh that Tash gave.

"Shane?"

"Don't Al"

"What do you want me to say Shane. Nothing? It's pretty obvious that you screwed things up real bad and Molly isn't coming back."

"So what?"

"So what? You've got to accept it and try to move on with your life. Tormenting yourself with all these photos and memories won't change anything. Molly would still be marrying that tool of a boyfriend and you'll be alone in this crummy apartment with crappy photos and painful memories."

"Wait. She's marrying that guy?"

"Oh my god. I thought you knew, Shane I thought you knew I…"

Shane sat down on the couch, her body numb and in shock.

"She's marrying that bastard." She repeated it quietly to herself, trying to believe the words.

Alice looked at Tash desperately for help but she only shrugged and rolled her eyes.

Shane suddenly stood up.

"You have to go."

"No. We don't. We have all afternoon, don't we Tash?"

"No. You guys have to go 'cause I've got so much stuff I have to do." She said breezily.

Alice was still uncertain "Are you sure? 'Cause we really can stay if you need to talk.."

"Talk? Huh ha ha! What would I need to talk about?"

"About Molly getting married, I mean I understand how it would bother you with you guys only breaking up, what 4 months ago."

"Why should that bother me?" inquired Shane lightly "Molly can marry whoever the fuck she wants. Not my problem"

"You sure it doesn't bother you?"

"Yes I'm sure." Replied Shane "Now if you don't mind if you could…"

She motioned to the door.

"Come on." Said Tash pulling Alice with her.

"Well if you're sure. We'll call later though 'kay?"

"Whatever"

"So.. Bye"

"Bye."

The door swung shut and for a moment there was complete silence.

And then Shane began to cry.


	4. Chapter 4

Molly sat at her dresser and stared at herself in the mirror

Molly sat at her dresser and stared at herself in the mirror. She was getting married in 2 weeks. She should be happy, jumping for joy.

Yet instead she felt. "Empty"

"What's empty?" asked Richard from behind her.

"Nothing"

She felt as if everything was a nightmare that she desperately needed to escape. Her mind drifted to Shane and suddenly she was flooded with emotion.

But Shane's no good. Thought Molly. I know that. Then why am I feeling so… ugh!

"Molly honey…. Are you up there?"

"Yes mother"

Phyllis made her way up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"Oh! You didn't say Richard was here too"

"Why would I need to say anything about Richard?"

"Well.um. You two could be having couple time and I wouldn't want to interrupt that."

"Why would we want to have 'couple time' "?

"Don't worry mum." Said Richard "You're welcome here anytime."

Phyllis waited until Richard had left the room and made his way down the stairs before she knelt beside Molly.

"How could you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Why would we want to have couple time?"

"But it's a valid question. Why would we want to have couple time? I see enough of him in the day time."

"Because it's an important part of maintaining a relationship, me and your father always put aside time for each other. That was our couple time."

"Oh yeah. I can see how well that worked for you."

"Don't be smart to me young lady. After everything you put him through, you could at least treat him with respect."

Molly looked away and Phyllis sighed.

"She really did a job on you"

Molly was silent. Phyllis stood up and stroked Molly's hair.

"You look so good in your wedding gown. Now what type of bouquet should we get you? Lilies? What do you think?"

But her efforts were wasted; Molly's mind was elsewhere as she wistfully pictured a certain dark haired hairdresser.

On the other side of town an attractive Latino woman gazed at an ad on a supermarket notice board.

Flat mate wanted.

Tidy and well organised with rent on time.

Smallish apartment but nice view. 2 decent sized rooms on 4th floor.

She stared at the number written below and hesitated before reaching into her handbag for her phone.

She created a short txt.

Am interested in apartment.

Txt me back address and I will come and look.

I am well organised and will pay rent 6 months in advance.

As the txt was sending she glanced back up at the ad. Something about it was familiar but she couldn't put her finger on what.

She was interrupted however by a new txt. She read it and smiled, placed her phone back in her bag and walked across the road, glancing at the street sign.

Shane sat on her couch waiting, someone had replied to her ad. She was in need of help for rent money and had decided to find a flatmate. Besides that she also figured that some new company would take her mind off Molly and the upcoming wedding.

There was a knock on the door and she stood up and quickly examined herself in the mirror.

She then grinned wolfishly at her reflection and reached for the door handle.

The young Latino woman who was on the other side of the door started to speak as the door opened.

"The apartment better by clean or I'm taking my 6 months rent money some place else. And if you're a.."

But what her potential flatmate was, was lost as the Latino's sentence trailed off. She stared incredously at the woman holding open the apartment door, her own shock mirrored on the woman's face.

"Carmen?!" Asked the woman the surprise clear in her voice.

"Shane?" Replied Carmen feeling a rush of mixed emotions as she spoke.


	5. Chapter 5

Shane slammed the door shut.

She tried her best to get herself together. This was Carmen. The Carmen that she left at the alter. The Carmen that she was going to marry. The Carmen that probably wanted to kill her and on whom she had just closed the door on.

. "Shit!" She wanted to yank open the door and peer outside,but she was a little afraid of what she might find. She leaned on the door for support. As she did so she realised that she was shaking, seeing Carmen had spooked her out more than she expected.

A short rap on the door interrupted her self reflection and she opened it to a very pissed off Carmen.

"Ah."

"Ah? That's the best you can come up with? Ah? After all this time? No apology. No I'm sorry Carmen?"

"Ah. Yeah. I guess you're a little angry at me."

"No Shit! You don't say?"

"I tried to see you. I tried Carmen, but "Dumb and Dumber" stopped me."

"Huh! I heard about that. Pretty weak attempt."

Next doors door flew open and a disgruntled woman peered out of it.

"Look, excuse me but I work nights and need some sleep. So if you don't mind SHUTING UP I would really appreciate it."

"Sorry" they replied in unison. The woman closed her door and they returned to glaring at each other.

"Look" said Shane " Come inside. Yell at me; kill me, I don't know. Do whatever you have to do. Just get it over with."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"I mean no. I'm not coming in there. I don't trust you."

"What am I going to do? Rape you?" She laughed at her own joke but stopped, as Carmen looked on straight-faced.

"Fine. Fine, where do you want to go?"

"For a walk."

"Okay. We shall walk then."

She grabbed her keys and followed Carmen down the hallway.

As they walked silently side-by-side Shane felt a rush of mixed emotions. Nervously she swallowed and tucked her shaking hands in her pockets. She didn't want Carmen to see the effect she had on her.

Meanwhile in her apartment the phone rang.

The dial went and a familiar voice came up on the message machine.

"Hey. Shane. It's me. Molly. We um.., we need to talk."


	6. Chapter 6

Shane sat on an empty park bench and Carmen followed suit. They sat in silence for a moment and Shane felt every millimetre between them.

"So. This is awkward."

"Uh, yeah."

"Do you know that every awkward moment a gay baby is born?"

Carmen laughed and the tension between them lessened.

"Where did you hear that?" she asked.

"Someone I knew." Said Shane

"A girl?" "Yeah" "What was her name?" "Molly."

The silence once more engulfed them and Shane felt lost.

"I guess I should start."

Carmen sighed heavily and Shane felt her heart jump into her throat.

"You know I only wanted the best for you."

Carmen snorted softly and Shane turned to her, desperate to make her understand.

"Really. I knew I wasn't what you deserved and I knew I would just break your heart. I just wanted you to be happy. Even if my dad is an arse he's right. I can't stay in a relationship; I screw things up all the time. Its what I do best."

"But that's what you don't get!" exclaimed Carmen.

"I knew it would have been hard work, but I was willing! I was willing to sacrifice my whole life to you, for forever. And you had no faith in us."

Shane couldn't believe what she was hearing. She never thought about it from that point of view before. She told Carmen so.

"I realise that. Look Shane, if you want to know the truth, I don't hate you."

Shane was surprised. "You sure? When I opened the door I thought you were going to kill me."

Carmen sighed again. "Yeah, me too. Shane I, I let you go a while back. As well as my mother and most of my family."

Shane was at a loss for words.

"But you love your mom. And your family. What happened?"

"I loved them, I still do but they couldn't accept me for who I am."

"I'm sorry."

Shane was in a state of shock and guilt.

She should have been there. She should have been there for Carmen, but she walked away. Pretending that she was doing it for Carmen's sake. She was such,

"An arse."

"What?" Asked Carmen.

Shane looked up and at Carmen.

"I'm an arse. I should have been there for you. I tried to protect you and you still got hurt."

Carmen said nothing for a moment. Instead she looked deeply into Shane's eyes.

"You really care, don't you?"

Shane was surprised. "Well, yeah. I mean, how could I not? I hurt you and it still haunts me. It hurt me to hurt you."

Carmen tilted her head slightly and looked at Shane.

"What?"

"You've changed Shane."

"I have? Well I guess my clothes are a little different, and my hair. But apart from that not really. I still manage to fuck up my relationships"

" Really? Well that's seems just like you, but I don't know. Something just seems"

"different. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good. I guess."

"Well thanks. Look Carmen, I know I rambled on and shit, but can you please forgive me?"

"Shane, I forgave you a long time ago."

"Can you just say it? Please? I can't forgive **myself **until you forgive me."

Carmen sighed good naturedly before saying softly

"I forgive you Shane."

Shane felt a weight lift off her chest and she smiled gratefully.


	7. Chapter 7

Molly lay that night in bed. Richard was out with his friends and the house was empty and quiet.

The phone sat silent on her bedside table and Molly stared at it with mixed emotions.

She had done it. She had done what she had promised her mother, not to mention Alice not to do.

She'd called Shane.

It didn't matter really. She wasn't there and even if she was she was probably with some random chick. It was what she did when she wanted to forget about things that were going on in her life.

And Molly was getting married. That would be something she'd want to forget wouldn't it?

Molly knew Shane knew. She'd overheard Alice telling her mother how she'd let it slip. When they saw her standing there, they made her promise, they made her swear not to call Shane.

Alice had told her not to bother, her mother assured her that Shane wouldn't care before giving her a rampant speech about how Shane was just a sex crazed bitch who had no appreciation for Molly, how Richard did and how happy they were going to be together.

Alice of course agreed with it all, adding comments in at the rare intervals but Molly saw something different in her eyes.

Molly wanted to know for herself. So she called.

She wasn't there. Everything that her mother had said was going round in her head. Everything Alice had said was going round in her head.

She wanted to believe them. She wanted to hate Shane with all her heart. She wanted to believe that Shane didn't care less, that Shane was just a 1 ride. Cheap and no good at all. But she couldn't.

She loved Shane and now she paid the price.


	8. Chapter 8

Shane picked up the phone. Her heart was heavy and she felt naseuos. She dialled the number and put the phone to her ear.

The phone rang loudly. Molly grabbed it and then paused, unsure of what to do.

"H,Hello?"

Shane heard silence on the line and then a hesitant greeting. Just hearing her voice made Shane want to cry.

"Hi Molly. It's me."

Molly was in shock. "I. I didn't think" she paused "I didn't you think you'd actually call back."

Shane was surprised. "Why would you think that?"

"Honestly? I did't think you'd care."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, my mom and Alice have been telling me stuff."

Bitch! Shane thought to herself. "And you believed them?" she couldn't hide the hint of anger that crept into her voice.

"Look Shane, who else was I supposed to believe? And don't be angry at me! Youre the one who did this. You made your bed, now sleep in it!"

Shane was surprised st her outburst.

"Shane, please don't hang up. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, I"

"Stop." Said Shane harshly and Molly fell silent.

"Stop." She said again softly. "Stop apologising, your'e right. I had and have no right to be angry with you. God knows all the shit I've done. But do you know whats the worst bit? I made my bed, yeah I did. But now I realise that I liked it better the way it was before and that really sucks because I know that it can't ever be that way again."

Shane choked and Molly was on the verge of tears.

"I don't want you to come back to me Molly. I don't want you to leave Richard. I want you to be happy. I want you to make something of yourself. Marry Richard. He can give the whole world on a silver platter. He adores you, and your mom loves him. He can be everything that I'm not."

Shane composed herself and took a shuddering breath.

"If you called to see how I'm doing then thank you. I can honestly say that I'm doing shit. But that's not your problem Molly. It shouldn't be. You've changed me Molly. I don't know how but you did it."

"Is that good or bad?"

"Honestly?" said Shane "I really don't know."


	9. Chapter 9

Shane heard a knock on the door.

She opened it.

"Sarah. That is your name right? Or is it Sandra?"

Sarah laughed. "Very funny. Hilarious. My sides are splitting."

She walked past Shane and into the apartment, flopping herself down on the couch.

Shane shut the door and sat down on the nearby chair.

"So what brings this impromptu visit?"

"Can't a girl visit a friend now a days without being questioned?"

"Wow" exclaimed Shane sarcastically "I'm a friend now."

Sarah smirked. "Yeah, that and my fucking buddy"

Shane winced at the brutal truth of her words.

"Sorry." Said Sarah "A little too soon?"

"Just a bit." Replied Shane.

"So." Said Sarah "Back to why I'm here."

"Yeah?" prompted Shane.

" I need a place to crash for the night. I was hoping, maybe.."

Her voice trailed off and Shane sat back on her chair.

"Stay here." Sarah nodded. "With me" Sarah nodded again. "Why again?"

Sarah sighed long and low.

"Mygirlfriendfoundoutthatisleptwithyouandshekickedmeout."

"What?" said Shane. "You have a girlfriend?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. Kinda." Sarah protested, "It's not like that."

"Then how is it then?"

"I was a drug addict. I met Carmen at the clinic."

"Whoa!" said Shane "Stop there. Carmen?"

"Yeah" said Sarah ? "Will you let me finish?"

"Anyways, we both got clean. We hooked up a couple times, but nothing too serious. She was still reeling from a bad break-up and her family had disowned her. She wasn't in the right space of mind for anything.

Then we went our separate ways until about a month ago. She called and I came running. She said she missed me. We hung out for a while. Then about a week ago we kissed. Then she ran off, figuring that I'd messed up I moved on."

Sarah looked up at Shane.

"The day after we" Shane looked at her, her eyebrows raised "Well, you know, she calls. Says she's sorry she ran off and can we talk. As always I go running and we're together. Said she saw an old friend and she was finally ready, y'know? So I tell her about you and she goes all quiet, like and tells me to come back tomorrow. Says she needs space for the night."

Sarah gazed off out the window and Shane willed herself to ask.

"What does she look like?"

Sarah turned to Shane "Oh. She's beautiful. I don't have a picture of her with me. I should really though she's like my best friend."

Shane got up and went to her bedroom. "Shane?" Sarah after her.

When Shane came back out she was carrying a photo. She handed it to Sarah and sat down waiting for her reaction.

"How, how did you get this?" asked Sarah.

"Do you know much about the her ex?"

"Yeah" said Sarah "Good for nothing, daughter of a cow, lying bitc.."

Her voice trailed off as she put one and two together.

"You" Shane nodded "and her?" Shane nodded again. "You're the bitch ex?"

Shane stuck out her hand to Sarah. "Nice to meet you."

--

Tena Koutou Katoa

Okay. Hope you like the new chapters. I know all the Sharmen fans out there are hoping for a reunion but at the moment I'm not sure on who's going to end up with who.

What does everyone think about Sarah? I don't know what to do about her really.

Any ideas?

Please review, I love feedback, it's my first fanfic and I need all the help I can get.

Can't wait to hear from you all.

Shaneaholic


	10. Chapter 10

Shane lay back in the bed her mind whirling with what she'd just found out.

She didn't quite know how to feel, jealous or surprised. Right now all she felt was empty.

Sarah didn't seem that fussed about Shane being Carmen's ex.

'Hey' she'd said 'It's all in the past though ain't it?'

'Yeah' Shane replied. But as she thought about it she wasn't so sure.

Was it all in the past? When she'd seen Carmen she was surprised, yeah but also so happy.

What did that mean? And what about Molly? That phone call was something, it had to be something.

She shook her head trying desperately to clear it. Now she had a headache.

The next day wasn't any better. She woke to find Sarah gone which was a relief but on her way out she'd managed to finish what had been left of the milk and breakfast cereal.

As she contemplated what to do next, someone knocked on her door.

'Coming!' she called pulling on a pair of ratty jeans.

'Oh. Alice.' 'Oh? Sorry were you expecting someone?' 'No!' Exclaimed Shane.

Alice gave her a look before stepping in. Shane looked around the hallway.

"Where's your other half?"

"Having sometime out with her friends. You should try it some time." Shane laughed then stopped abruptly.

"Whaddaya mean?" "Well." Alice said hesitantly "we don't see you anymore."

Shane shrugged "I've been busy moving in, I never realised I had so much shit."

"Shane" Alice replied quietly "You moved in a month ago"

"I've been busy" "So you said."

"What else can I say Al?" Shane turned to her. "With everything that happened I just wanted to give everybody some space"

"By everybody I'm guessing you mean Jenny"

Shane laughed bitterly. "Is it that obvious?"

"Why don't you just go and apologise?"

"I tried Al, she doesn't want to hear anything I have to say."

It was then that Alice saw the duvet on the couch. "Been having a sleep over have you?"

"Oh yeah, a friend came to stay the night."

"Wow." said Alice "I've never known to have a 'friend' over then make her sleep on the couch."

Shane laughed "I never like the same thing twice." Alice turned to her.

"I'd better be careful if I were you she knows where you live."

"Ha ha ha. Very funny. She's seeing someone actually."

"Ohh. The plot thickens. How does the girlfriend feel about you and this friend.?"

"I don't know. That's why she came here."

"Who the girlfriend?" "No my friend Sarah." "Why?"

"Well she told Carmen and she went all quiet and.."

"Wait a minute. Did you just say Carmen?"

"Yeah"

"Your ex Carmen?"

"Yes."

Alice sat down heavily on the couch. "Wow."

Shane looked at her. "I know."


	11. Chapter 11

Shane picked up her ringing cell phone. Though she didn't recognise the number there was something familiar about it.

"Hello?"

"Shane. Um, can I talk to you?"

"Uh, wow, um, yeah. Sure Carmen."

Shane wondered what Carmen wanted to talk about. Her thoughts drifted back to the day before.

"Wow." said Alice.

"I know." Shane replied.

"And how do you feel about it?"

"Fine I guess. I mean, I don't know."

"What about Molly?"

"What about her?"

"Well how do you feel about her?"

"I don't know"

"Wow. You're really confused. What are you going to do?"

"I really don't know." Shane said.

Shane waited at the park bench. She smelt Carmen before she saw her. The old familiar perfume she used to wear when they were going out. She didn't remember smelling it before.

When she saw Carmen she felt all the old feelings flooding back, stronger that before.

"Um. Are you alright?"

Shane shook herself out of her reverie and smiled softly up at Carmen.

"Never better."

Carmen sat down hesitantly beside her. "I wanted to talk to you about the whole Sarah thing. She told me camped at yours last night and I...."

"Oh. No she slept on the couch and I slept in my room. Nothing happened."

Carmen smiled.

"I know that. It was the first thing I asked, what with your reputation."

"Ouch."

Carmen laughed.

"I just wanted to know if you were alright with us."

"What? You and Sarah? Yeah. I'm fine. I mean me and Sarah was just a one night thing you know?"

"Yeah" said Carmen. "She told me it had something to do with a broken heart."

"Yeah." Said Shane. "Something like that."

Suddenly Shane felt herself opening up to Carmen about Molly. It felt weird but somehow right.

Carmen looked at Shane sympathetically.

"So what are you going to do now? I mean do you want her back?"

Shane paused as realisation flooded through her.

"No. Even if she doesn't marry Richard, I made the right decision. She's going places and I'm not."

She looked up to Carmen.

"She needs someone with direction, someone who's interested in making loads of money and being something huge."

"And what do you want?"

"I don't know what I want. Sarah and me is enough evidence of that. The only reason I slept with her is cause she was more wasted than me."

"What?"

Shane looked Carmen.

"I said.."

"No." Interrupted Carmen. "I know what you said. Sarah was wasted?"

Shane shrugged.

"She was pretty drunk yeah, but there's no harm in that right?"

"Shane, she was in rehab for drugs **and alcohol."**

Shane was silent. "Oh. Well, that's not good."

Carmen abruptly stood up. "I'll see you later. I have to go and talk to her."

Shane grabbed her arm and pulled her back and Carmen fell on top of her.

Shane swallowed nervously Carmen's lips mere centimetres away from her mouth.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to... What are going to do?"

Carmen righted herself.

"I'll find out when I get to her."

Shane watched as Carmen walked away, the close encounter having left her a little shaken.

She shook herself slightly, stood up and walked in the opposite direction ever so slightly murmuring, "I need a drink."


	12. Chapter 12

Carmen approached the café with trepidation. Her chat with Shane had left her unnerved. All of a sudden she felt memories of them together rushing back to her.

Sarah spotted her through the café window and smiled. Carmen smiled softly back.

She entered the café and sat down beside Sarah.

"Hey. Where have you been?" asked Sarah.

"I went to see a friend."

Sarah's smile faded slightly. "You went to see Shane, didn't you?"

Carmen couldn't lie, not to Sarah. "Yeah, I did."

"But I told you nothing happened."

"I know. It wasn't that. I wanted, anyway that doesn't matter now."

"Yes it does!" Exclaimed Sarah. "It matters to me. You're still in love with her

aren't you? Don't lie Carmen 'cause I know she's still in love with you."

"What!"

Sarah was silent.

"I'm not the one who's been lying am I? I know that you've been drinking Sarah.

Shane told me. You told me you were sober. How am I supposed to trust you?"

"How am supposed to trust you Car? You didn't even answer my question."

Sarah locked eyes with Carmen.

"But we both know that you don't need too. It's always going to be her isn't Car?"

Carmen was silent.

"What are you doing with me Car? You know I'll never be what you want."

A silent tear rolled down Carmen's cheek. Sarah reached out gently and wiped it away.

"I love you Sarah, I.."

"I know." Interrupted Sarah. "But you're in love with her."


	13. Chapter 13

The unlocked door to Shane's apartment flung open. A surprised Shane turned to the doorway and Molly threw herself into Shane's arms.

"Molly? What are you doing here?"

Molly looked up into Shane's eyes.

"I left Richard. I want you back. God I've missed you."

They embraced and Shane guided them slowly to the bedroom, her hands gliding….

"MOLLY!!"

A disgruntled Molly woke with a start.

"Mother. What are you doing here?"

She looked up at a fuming Phyllis.

"You left Richard?!" was her only reply.

"Oh." Said Molly. "You've heard." She lay back down to bed.

"I've heard. I had the poor boy ring me up in the early hours of the morning asking me if I'd seen his missing fiancé! Why do you do this? He's spent the past day searching high and low for you!"

Molly sighed. "I told him in the note not to do that."

"That's it?" Asked Phyllis. "That's all you have to say?"

Molly turned to face her mother once more. "Yes."

"Aaargh! Do you know how much money your father and I have spent on this wedding? What will people think of us? What will Richard think of you?"

Phyllis paused to breathe.

"Where is she?"

Molly sat up. "Who?"

Phyllis walked around the room, flinging the wardrobe doors open wide Before kneeling to peer under the bed.

Unsatisfied she sat up and strode over to the discreet on suite bathroom and peering inside.

"You're not going to find Shane in there."

Phyllis turned to Molly. "So you have seen her."

"Mother, me and Shane aren't together."

"So you didn't leave Richard for Shane?"

"No!" said an exasperated Molly.

"Oh. Then why did you leave him?"

"Because I don't want to marry him. I don't love him and I'm not ready.I would be a terrible wife."

Phyllis looked at Molly closely. "Are you going to get back together with Shane?"

Molly sighed. "What does it matter to you?"

"I'm your mother. I have a right to know."

"No you don't, but seeing as you'll never drop it.

No I'm not going to get back together with Shane. She made the right decision. We're in different places in our lives, going in different directions. She's looking for a long-term relationship now and I've realised that that's not what I want."

Phyllis sat down beside Molly. "Oh honey. I'm sorry."

Molly looked at her mother. "No you're not." She sighed.

"Thanks for pretending anyway. What are we going to do about the wedding?"

Phyllis sighed. "We'll figure something out. We can probably get most of our money back."

Molly looked at her mother. "Thanks."

Phyllis smiled and hugged Molly softly stroking her hair.


	14. Chapter 14

There was a knock on Shane's door.

"Come in!" She called.

The door opened and Phyllis entered Shane's apartment.

"Oh." Said Shane "It's you."

"I didn't think you'd be in. Thought you'd be at work like everyone else." Phyllis said sarcastically.

"Well." Shane replied, " Sorry to disappoint but it's my day off. Look what do you want? If your looking for Molly I'm afraid she's not here."

Phyllis raised a hand. "I'm not looking for Molly. I know where she is. She left Richard, though you probably already know that."

Shane scoffed. "It might interest you to know that I did."

Phyllis shrugged. "Shane, I know that in the past I've made my dislike of you clear"

"**Very clear**" added Shane.

Phyllis nodded slightly. "I just came to thank you for heeding my word and not interfering with Molly."

Shane scoffed. "Heeding your word? You think I give a fuck about your word?!

I chose to end things with Molly 'cause I felt it was the right thing to do. I left Molly and your precious fucking wedding alone because I felt it was decision Molly had to make on her own. Molly had to stand up to you on her own. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't do that!"

Phyllis sneered. "Well at least Molly's got rid of all the trash in her life."

"Not quite. Remember, she's still got you."

"You little slut!!"

And out of nowhere Phyllis's fist struck Shane's face.

Shane stumbled backwards as the blood trickled from her nose.

"What going on here?" exclaimed Carmen from the open doorway.

Phyllis turned and Shane looked on holding her nose gingerly.

Phyllis turned to Shane and then to Carmen.

"I'm leaving." And with that she walked past Carmen and into the empty hallway.


	15. Chapter 15

Carmen cautiously entered the apartment.

"Hey." She said softly.

Shane nodded, lowering her hand to inspect the blood.

"Here." Said Carmen. "Let me."

Shane let Carmen wipe away the blood with a tissue, her actions soft and gentle.

Shane watched as she delicately bit her lip as she cleaned up Shane's nose.

Carmen prodded a little to harshly and Shane winced pulling away slightly.

"Sorry." Murmured Carmen as their eyes locked.

There was silence before Shane pulled away coughing slightly.

"Um. So what brings you here?"

Carmen paused, sitting down on the couch.

"I saw Sarah. You were right, she was drunk. She's booked into rehab."

Shane was surprised. "What about you two?"

Carmen shrugged. "It's for the best. We were never really that good together."

"I'm sorry." Said Shane.

Carmen smiled. "Don't be. We had a pretty bad fight though, we said somethings…

She asked me if I was still in love with you."

"What?" Exclaimed Shane.

"I know" Carmen replied. "She said that she knew you were in love with me and then she got all emotional… Anyway it doesn't matter does it? It's all in the past."

"Yeah." Said Shane as Carmen's heart sank.

Carmen abruptly stood up. "Well, I'd better be going. You've probably got work to do."

"Actually" said Shane "It's my day off."

"Still." Said Carmen as she made her way to the door.

"Carmen." Called Shane.

Carmen stopped but didn't turn as she felt Shane move towards her.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"What was your answer?"

Carmen turned. "To what?"

Shane paused before continuing, "When Sarah asked you if still loved me. What was your answer?"

Carmen's heart fluttered as she watched Shane take a step closer.

"I didn't answer."

Shane stopped. "Why not?"

Carmen and Shane locked eyes as Carmen whispered the tension blanketing the room like a heavy fog.

"I didn't need to. Sarah already knew the answer. Was she right about you?"

Shane nodded taking one last step to Carmen.

Their noses were grazing and Carmen felt Shane's breath on her bottom lip.

Shane's arms snaked softly snaked their way around Carmen's waist as Carmen dropped her handbag.

Their lips met and Carmen moaned.

"Shane. No." she said as she broke away.

"What?!" asked a confused Shane.

"No" said Carmen. "Not like this."

"What do you mean?" said Shane

"It's got to be different. You've got to promise me it's going to be different from before. I don't need you to try," she said pulling Shane close once more.

"I need you to promise."

Carmen looked deep into Shane's eyes and Shane nodded.

"I promise."

Carmen smiled and Shane felt her heart lift as if a lifetime worth of guilt had been taken.

She kissed Carmen rediscovering her mouth and tongue, smirking as Carmen moaned into the kiss.

Carmen broke away and locked eyes with Shane before disappearing into the bedroom.

Shane followed and together they fell onto the bed enmeshed in each other.

Shane broke away and grinned at Carmen underneath her.

"Wait a moment."

She dug in the wardrobe and pulled out a cardboard box. Out of the cardboard box she pulled a picture of her and Carmen.

Grinning at a surprised Carmen as she placed it on the empty bedside table.

Carmen sat up and looked at the picture.

"I think we should wait a little."

"What do you mean?" Asked Carmen.

Shane smirked. "I think we should make it special." She said motioning to the bed.

Carmen smiled wide. "I never knew you could be so sweet. The problem is what to do now."

Carmen grinned as Shane stood up and held out her hand.

"You up for a cup of coffee?" she said "I know the perfect place."

THE END


	16. Chapter 16

Okay. So that's the end of all the mistakes that I've made.

Hope you all liked it.

Got any ideas for the sequel? Shane still has to patch things up with Jenny.

Niki and Carmen are going to meet.

Carmen and Molly are going to meet and Paige and Carmen are going to meet.

Also I've been thinking about continuing with Sarah.

I know that at some point everybody will meet up and sparks will fly!!

If you've got any ideas or opinions let me know.

See ya!

Shaneaholic


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